Excerpt from:

Tole, Eckhart (2016). A New Earth: Awakening to your life’s purpose. 10th Anniversary Edition. Penguin Books. New York, NY.

 

 

I have a client who swears by this book. I had to find out why, so I bought it. Thank you Amazon! I begin reading it. At first, it is full of information I already know but a nice explanatory blend of Western behavior and Eastern thought on Western behavior.

 

I read on and get into Chapter 2, all about “The Current State of Humanity” and then, beginning on page 38, it happens… I am suddenly engaged as the author starts on a story about an elderly woman, on hospice, who believes someone stole a precious, heirloom ring from her. She is very upset and blames the author for not understanding her plight when he tells her the ring isn’t her biggest issue right now.

 

The woman continues to lament; her quickness and anger of her response indicating she was not present enough to look within and observe her reaction. Her anger also indicated that her ego was wrapped up in the object and the loss as if she had lost a piece of herself instead of an object.

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In an effort to illuminate her to the fact that the object is not a piece of herself, the author asks her a few questions: Do you realize that you will have to let go of the ring as some point, perhaps quite soon? How much more time do you need before you will be ready to let it go? Will you become less without it? Has who you are diminished by the loss?

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After these questions the elderly woman realizes that who she is inside, her “I Am” has nothing to do with any object she currently possesses. “Being must be felt, it cannot be thought…. You thought the “I Am’ was part of the ring … any time there is ego attachment to an object, you are also attaching your personhood to that object, because it is “mine”. When a person truly and completely accepts loss, that is when you shed attachments of ego and who you are inside shines through….”

I add onto that thought, “And, as you release ego, you become free from suffering.”

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Why am I bringing this up? Well, for several reasons…. I’m at a point in my life where I am making some turns… meaning I am making headway on making a life that provides what my spirit needs. I am beginning to understand the combination of suffering in life due to ego, and I am finally ready to open myself up to shedding material objects.

 

I have always been a generous person. I tend to share and also to let go of things quite readily. Some items not so easily, but in those cases, when I love an object in an unhealthy manner, the Universe removes it from my hands. Every. Single. Time. I cannot say that I do not grieve the items but I eventually come around to realizing that the objects have found a new home and I forgive their loss. That sounds kind of weird I suppose but what I mean is, that I have found how to accept that these items are no longer with me. This applies to people as well, however, those losses take much more time.

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I am also bringing this up because I want to share that in the past couple of years the meaning of “being genuine” has deepened for me. Through every loss I have gained deep, intimate self-knowledge in abundance. Now, I meet every connection with every person as my genuine self – no separation between power/no-power; friend/foe; everyone is equal to me and I am equal to them (at least in my mind). I no longer hide how I feel, what’s the point?

 

At times I can catch the “oneness with the Universe” and sometimes it eludes me but I do believe I am getting much better at the being authentic piece simply because I am better with the acceptance piece. Doing the kind of work that I do (therapy) has brought me a level of personal and spiritual development I cannot explain fully. I realize that the meaning of life is constant growth and helping as many people as I can along the way.

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What about you? What have you gained through your losses?